Graduation: A Day to Celebrate!

I may have spent a day crying about results, but I can honestly say that my graduation was one of the best days of my life. That's because the day wasn't about results at all. It was about the actual time we spent at Ravensbourne and celebrating all we've achieved whilst studying there.

For me the celebrations really started the day before. Largely for practical reasons I had my family  stay the night and it turned out to be a really special time together. I had the privilege of cooking them a meal and then sitting round the table and eating together. I didn't cook anything difficult or special, but it just felt fitting that after years of being looked after and provided for in so many ways, I could return the favour, even if only in a minuscule sense compared to what's been done for me. We sat, ate and chatted. Nothing extraordinary on paper but in reality it very special. I loved having my family all to myself for those few hours.

Then the day was finally upon us! There was a great sense of excitement beforehand, people arriving with or waiting to meet up with their parents, melting in the heat and walking down a red carpet to get into Indigo2. Then we went to get our gowns. That's when it all became rather real. I was about to become a graduate!

The ceremony was great. I love the fact that even though it was a formal occasion, there was still a sense of fun, and that we were encouraged to clap and cheer. It made for a wonderful celebratory atmosphere, and I enjoyed clapping and cheering for my brilliant mates. Then all of a sudden, it was our turn! Our class queued up ready to go up on stage, shake some hands and collect our faux-scrolls.

The main thoughts running through my mind in the moments before I went up were 'don't let your gown collapse, make sure you remember to shake everyone's hand that you're supposed to, don't walk off too quickly in case someone tries to say something to you, and please, please whatever you do don't let a shoe fall off.' (My smart ones have a habit of doing that sometimes). Thankfully, I managed to get all of the above right, and even better, after my name was read out I heard a big cheer, in fact it was big enough for Robin Baker to comment on it as I shook his hand! This might seem like a very frivolous and egotistic thing for me to highlight, but for someone who wasn't happy with my results, it meant the absolute world to me to hear that level of support from my peers. I may not have quite achieved the academic level I wanted to, but it felt like I'd at least made an impact during my time at Ravensbourne. My hard work had paid off - I'd got to work with a lot of amazing people on various projects and events, and this was such a moving way to be reminded of it.

And thereon followed the reception, and photos. Lots of photos.

And that was it. The end of three jaw-dropping years at Ravensbourne. I can't begin to say how much Ravensbourne has done for me. I've had once in a lifetime experiences such as working for the 2012 Olympics, made some amazing friends, worked on projects I'm so proud to have been a part of, and learnt so, so much - about myself, my craft and the industry it sits in. Before Ravensbourne all I had was a keen interest in video editing and some pretty amateur work to show for it. Pretty much everything I know that's worth knowing about post production I've learned through Rave in some shape or form.

I also think Ravensbourne's brought out a certain type of confidence in myself that I've never had before. I think there's something truly unique about the extent to which it trusts its students. I'm the sort of person who's never going to really believe I can do something without proving it to myself first, and Ravensbourne's really allowed me to do just that. I know other universities were given the opportunity to work for the Olympics, but had it not been for Ravensbourne's approach I don't think I would have had the belief in myself, or at the very least the 'you never know unless you try' attitude to put myself forward in the first place.

I've come up from a very academic background so getting used to being away from the textbooks and theories took me some time to adjust to, but it was so worth it, because the difference in learning is incredible. Ask me about stuff I've 'rope learned' for exams in previous years and I'll probably be stumped, but Ravensbourne's hands on approach means I've just sort of ingested (see what I did there) the information I need. I haven't read about this stuff in a book, I've done it, I've shouted at it, spent hours trying to fix it and worked it through it on real projects. Now it's just sort of ingrained in me, to the extent that I'm often chatting away to someone and they have to get me to explain what on earth I'm talking about, it just comes that naturally, and that's all down to Ravensbourne. The difference between what I knew, and the way I approached my work before and after Ravensbourne is just incredible.

All that's left to say is a huge thank you to the many amazing, beautiful people who have supported me through the dizzying heights and sometimes crushing lows of the last three years. So here goes: Thank you so much to all my friends who have put up with me and never given up on me whatever happened, and to my tutors for their hard work and their teaching. To my amazing parents, thank you doesn't even begin to cover it, without your financial and emotional support I genuinely wouldn't have made it as far as graduation. To my beautiful sister who only really got to see me in the holidays in my most mentally and emotionally shattered state, but stood by me through all of it. To the various churches I have attended in London for letting me receive far more than I served, and to my home church Eastleigh Baptist Church for their continued prayers and words of encouragement. Looking back at the amount of support I've received from so many sources has been overwhelming and I'm so grateful.

So that's it. Ravensbourne, BA(Hons) Editing and Post Production, Class of 2013. It's a chapter of my life that I feel very sad to be closing, but one that's prepared me for whatever happens in the next one!

Why I'm Allowed to be Disappointed with a 2.1

Despite its near inevitability after the year I've had, it was still incredibly painful to open that letter and see the number '2.1' staring back at me.

I made no effort to hide my disappointment and I don't regret that. I do understand that all the responses I received were in my best interests and that people were only trying to make me feel better, but I'm afraid I just won't be told how to feel about this. I simply was gutted and I'm pretty sure I always will be because it wasn't the result that I worked for. That's not to say in any shape or form that I regret my time at Ravensbourne or working as hard as I did, I gained a lot of great experience, learnt more than I ever thought I could and met some amazing people. It's not like it's one or the other - I can appreciate my time at Rave and be gutted with the final outcome of it at the same time.

I want to answer a few of the main arguments often given to people when they're unhappy with their grade:

• It belittles other people's achievements. No it doesn't. If someone has really struggled with their degree for whatever reason, worked their backside off and received a 2.2 then they've actually done better than me because they've overcome something and fulfilled what they set out to do. Last year I got a distinction for my foundation degree so I've proven to myself that I am capable of this, and even though I may not have fallen I have certainly stumbled at the final hurdle. That doesn't make anyone actually reaching their goal of getting a 2.1 worth anything less. 
• It makes you look arrogant. I personally don't believe it's arrogance because I know you have to work exceptionally hard for a 1st and certainly don't believe I had any sort of automatic right to one. I had a benchmark that I unexpectedly hit last year by getting a distinction, but then failed to maintain it this year despite working harder than ever. I believe that's the difference between arrogance and trying to be the very best you can be, but if you want to call it arrogance, fine. 
• Results aren't the be all and end all/it's only a number on a piece of paper. I know that. I also know I'm looking to get into an industry that doesn't give a stuff about results, but to me, grades have always been important. It's still the official representation of three years of my life. It puts people in boxes, and since the most common grade to be awarded is a 2.1, I feel like I've been put in the middle of a very big box marked 'average'. If results mean that little, get rid of them. Until then, they're going to affect me. 

I know that, despite my best efforts,  the above statements are difficult to argue but if I'm never disappointed with myself then how am I ever going to develop? Trying to convince myself that a 2.1 is what I wanted may make things feel better in the short term, but as a long term plan it sucks. Forever being content with what I achieve means I'm never going to push myself to be better. I'd rather let myself get hurt, let it get to me that I should have handled this year differently and then use that to be better at whatever I do next.

Not only that but I sacrificed an awful lot to focus on my studies. I have a lot of other interests that I neglected, on top of that I didn't go to church for months and I barely saw my family or any friends outside of Ravensbourne. In the past I've been quite seriously trying to get into acting but I often put that on hold for Ravensbourne which may have set me back permanently on that one. I gave up an awful lot, especially in the final year, and, to me it didn't pay off. At the same time I see people celebrating getting the same grade as I did who didn't give up nearly as much. You can't expect me not to take that badly.

I touched on this a little above but this is not about a sense of entitlement either, I know grades aren't calculated on how much effort you put in, and I know that if a 2.1 is what I got, then (even if only by a set of weird and wonderful assessment criteria) that's what my work was worth, which is why I took it so hard. I know to achieve anything in life you have to meet certain standards. I learnt that from my family who have had to work really hard to get where they are. They also invested an awful lot in me, especially my education so to start to repay them by getting a 1st would quite literally have been a dream come true. I know they're amazing parents and are proud of me whatever I do, but that actually makes more determined to be the best I can for them.

So there you have it, this is my justification for not getting out the party poppers when I saw my results. However, I do want to say to anyone also who got their results recently - don't let this sway how you feel personally. If you got a 3rd and were just happy that you'd passed, stay that way. If you got a 1st and are unhappy that you got 90% instead of 100%, stay that way too (although - well done!). The point of this blog isn't to say that a 1st is the only degree that's worth having, not in the slightest. In a way, it's not really about a degree at all, it's about personal goals and understanding that it hurts, really hurts when you work your backside off to achieve them and they don't come through.

If you were disappointed with your results, no matter how well you've done, you're allowed to be upset, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Just don't let that be the end of you and don't see it as a reflection of your self-worth. I spent a day crying about my results because it represents a huge chunk of my life and I believe I had every right to but they still don't define me. As I said earlier, letting stuff like this get to you every once in a while can motivate you in the long run. If you've really worked for something, chances are you would have learned a heck of a lot along the way. Fight back. Prove to the world why the piece of paper was wrong. I'm certainly going to.