Recently, I went back to something that I had almost forgotten about - our youth forum from church! I started using it again as part of something I'm helping out with, but just by chance, today I thought I'd have a little look at some of the stuff we used to post on there. And what started off as 'a little look', soon turned into 'WOW'.
There was some stuff that just made me laugh like silly word association games that went on forever, and some that sent waves of nostalgia - like our 'top five' section, where I think I have changed my mind on almost all of my lists!
However, what really got me thinking was the more serious section of the forum that we used to talk over any issue that was going on in our lives and also to post anything relating to God that we wanted to discuss. There was some amazing writing in the 'Verses to Creativity' section (bar my own, which made me cringe a little!), and also some really interesting discussions. Then I came across some of my own posts relating to what was going on in my life, like this one:
That reminded me of just how much worrying I was doing. Trust me, it was a lot. Talk to any of my friends at my church...they'll verify that for you. Stress...tears...anxious phone calls and e-mails to Ravensbourne, my word I was so caught up in it all! And over what? God sorted all of that! I miraculously got into Ravensbourne, I'm definitely on the right course (apparently there's not much going on in the land of scriptwriting). And on top of that, I found a great church just round the corner when I moved!
My life is basically like that...I spend a good deal of time stressing out over things...I struggle my way through them...then a look back a while later, and see God had it all in hand anyway! And guess what I'm doing right now...yes...you got it...WORRYING. Even after seeing how God's always been right there in my life. However...it has calmed me a little, thoughts about getting a job, finding somewhere to live, finding work experience are still running through my mind....every little detail, but I have now been reminded that this is not the first time I've felt like this, and I know much deeper down that God does have it in hand, and he does have a plan for me. Even if I'm screaming inside to know what it is.
But what made me remember that is the forum. It's because I actually wrote down what I was feeling at the time. And that's what I want to encourage you to do - whether it's private, like a hand written diary or a password protected document on your computer, or public, like a blog or posting on a forum - get it somewhere where you can look back on it. You'll be amazed to see what God's done for you. Even if you don't believe in God, do it anyway, because the lessons we learn through living life are so valuable - but that doesn't always mean we remember them!
You know something, I'm not one to air my emotional/spiritual side in public but...
ReplyDeleteI went through virtually the same thing. I think it was when it came down to deciding which Uni to go to and I had no idea which one to choose. Then a part of me thought, that I've technically already chosen and that God has set a path (as such)out already. So yeah..
Moral of the story, we both don't need to worry too much! =)
p.s Loving your summer blog.